Lighten up?

I really do like my hair. But lately I've been wondering if I have been letting my dark hair affect my personality. I'm always a little cynical and dark, but that doesn't mean I should be that way all the time. So I was thinking, if I were blond would I be more cheerful? I don't mean to say that I think I would be happier if my hair were different, but I think I let myself get a little too melodramatic when my hair is dark. And we all know I couldn't do something subtle, oh no. Hmm. I'm a little too attached to the darkness, maybe a change would be a good thing?

Anyway, I'm just going to leave you with a little anecdote courtesy of Jackson Cash:

"Momma, Lucy's mouth spilled."

woman seeking geek

I saw this add today when I was on myspace:

"Potter fans - dating
A Geek You Can Love is Nearby Meet & date on Geek 2 Geek
geek2geek.com"

HA! If I wasn't already taken.

Anyway, I'm selling several things on craigslist. It's hard to do right now because it is so flooded. I am selling my piano from my parents house. They are moving and won't have room for it. I'm starting to wonder if it's going to sell
in time or if it might have to come live at my house for a while. I also have a set of living room tables I'm trying to get rid of because we want to use our living room for something other than setting things down.

This week is our last bible study... UNTIL NEXT FALL!! What? Do people not need spiritual nourishment in the summertime?! That has always confused me.

Bastien...please!

So here is a big confession:
The real reason I haven't been posting new blogs this past month... (whisper voice): "post partum depression..."
Yeah, low times. Not the first time I have dealt with the ugly stuff before. I recognized right away that I was having some problems with depression, but it wasn't until my mom pointed out that it was probably post-partum/hormone related I suddenly thought, "oh yeah, I had a baby recently". You all know I am horribly honest, even to the point of TMI in some situations. This is something I think is just important to share. Many of my friends are pregnant or just had babies, so I am going to speak first so that others will be comfortable if they need to talk to someone about PPD. I'm here!! Call me!

So here's the set up:
All that stressful garbage we had been dealing with was finally over. I was all done with the unpacking in our new house. Lucy was sleeping through the night then....
Nolans birthday, my breast milk dried up in a matter of about 2 days, Bryan left for Boston and New York, I got my first period since the c-section, and everything got really dark. I just couldn't shake it. I wasn't really sad, I was just... nothing. Like in The Never Ending Story, it was like "Bastien, SAY MY NAME... ANYBODY? SOMEBODY?!"
The day of Nolan's birthday the Twilight movie came out (and I bought it of course)and I watched it like everyday. I didn't want to go anywhere. I cried, and then I couldn't cry. My thought patterns started getting all muttered. I had a few days when I was so stuck in my head I had no idea what was going on around me. I lost track of reality. It was REALLY SCARY.

I came really close to needing meds. I was lucky though, that with a few tweaks the fog started to lift after two months of misery. Now I'm getting alot of exercise (although I still haven't lost a stink'n pound!) and I'm taking fish oil and Estroven. I'm not quite back to normal but I'm getting there.

I love my family and my life, but hormones are a force to be reckoned with. "It's hard being a woman in a tight fist of fear." (shout out to my friends who are also finishing the Esther study with Beth Moore)

So that having been said, I guess it's pretty clear what happened to my diet. Cheesy chili dip and depression. So now I am going to get back on the band wagon Monday morning. I've already been cycling, jogging, and doing pilates and strength routines. Now it's time to kick those empty carbs to the curb. I got lots of tea and some high protein goodies at the store today. I think I'm ready. I want to loose 10lbs before June. That's my first goal.

Side Note: the new "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" trailer ROCKS!! I'm going to be the idiot crying in the theater. I'm sure I will go very in detail about my bonds with Harry in another blog closer to the movie. I'm already planning a reread to prep.

getting so big

Did I mention that she started rolling over about a month ago! The boys could barely hold their heads up when they were her age. She's a strong little lady. She just turned 3 months last week.