Two Masters

There are times in life that I know what my purpose is, it's clear. Some of those are hard times full of difficulty and tough decisions. Others there is an overwhelming amount of good things and I just don't know what to do with myself. BUT, I am human, and there are times that I get so caught up in ME that I totally loose track of what I was doing. That is such a lost and confusing way to be. There's no end when it comes to trying to make yourself happy. There's always something else you think will satisfy.
This morning I cleaned out my purse getting ready for the trip. You would not believe how my Target receipts came out of that little purse. How embarrassing! First of all the people at Target must think I'm crazy. Second of all... WHY!? Granted some of it was necessities like baby food and diapers. Others, well I don't even know what they were.
So that's an example on a small scale, and that's how it starts. Then it moves to other areas of life and can become really serious, like when you spend LOTS of time contemplating how to make other people like you and that is a very slippery slope.
When we aren't seeking happiness and purpose in God we can get so far away from true happiness soooo quickly. What is true happiness?

Psalm 4:7 You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound.

Psalm 5:11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.

Psalm 6:11 You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

If you don't know what your purpose in life is, there's only one way to find out. When you learn more about God you learn more about why he made you, who you REALLY are.
Just be warned: living life outside of your God given purpose is like trying to draw water from a well with no bottom. Not only will you never gain anything from it, but if you lean in too far while trying you will probably fall in, and there's no bottom to stop your fall.
So, even though I'm not going to be home this week my goal is to let go of all those distractions that have been holding me back and taking away my strength and determination. Regroup, refocus, and renew. I know where my joy is, it's time to get back on track.

An apple a day...

So Lulu just had her 9 month check up this past week. My little lady only weighs 17 lbs! I know that's the 35 percentile, not bad. She's just so much smaller than the boys were at that age. Other than that she's great! She's still cutting several teeth, all you Twilight lovers should know that I jokingly call her "my little immortal child". All those pretty teeth and hair on such a tiny thing.
Anyway, so I had a check up too, and I was wondering if anyone has any info for me. Apparently my scar from the c-section is turning into a bit of a keloid, from what my doc said there's nothing I can do about it. Unfortunately it hurts and pretty much looks "unhealed" most of the time. I think my bathing suit is going to cover it up, but still... lame. I was told that I could get some type of steroid injections to help it go away, is this true? Is it costly? Would it take away the pain associated?
So I haven't been very good at blogging lately. I'm just having trouble with putting thoughts into words that make sense. I could write a whole blog of unintelligible ramblings, but I think only a select few would appreciate the inside workings of my brain.

3 DAYS UNTIL VACATION!!!!

Sasson (the jeans rant)

I'm sure there is some wonderful lady out there who doesn't mind, or maybe even enjoys jean shopping. Not me. Even planning to go shopping for a new pair of jeans kinda makes me feel like I am hyper-ventilating and ready to chew all my nails off. Hmm, what size will I be this time...? UGH!! I think we should all consider going back to corsets and full length gowns. Then the kicker is that I have to pay money, usually more than I want to spend, for these stitches of self-loathing. Usually you have to pay extra for the kind that doesn't emphasize the muffin-top, or make your rear look like it's actually connected to the rest of your body.
Who came up with this stuff? Why do we wear these? I mean, it's fine for men, because we aren't visual creatures and we focus on the heart of the man in the pants and not the rear view of the man in the pants. For us, though, it's a whole different enchilada. We work out, we diet, we try all kinds of gizmos and throw away tons of money; not to look good naked... TO LOOK GOOD IN THOSE STUPID JEANS!!!
Recently my main problem with jeans is getting them to stay up. Don't misunderstand, I don't mean like I'm so little and cute size 0 is just too big. No no no, I mean they just don't, none of them. They search for the narrowest place to rest, so they slide on down to that area between the gut and the butt. Not a good place. They should not call this "The Artist" style, or "The boyfriend", no it should be "The Dough ball", or "The Spare". It just accentuates that jelly role!
I'm so glad my husband loves me the way I am.
So there you have it ladies....

Once upon a time there was a beautiful little princess. She was playful and happy, and was loved and treasured by all the kingdom. She was priceless. There was an evil and dark wizard who lived in the kingdom who wanted the princess for himself. He new that she would grow into a great beauty, so he plotted to one day make her his bride. He also knew that she would never willingly marry him if she knew her own value and beauty. So he cursed her and took away her reflection. When the princess went to look at herself in the mirror she could see nothing, just everything around her.
The princess continued to grow more beautiful through the years. She began asking those around her "what do I look like?" because like any young girl she wanted to know. When she asked her mother and father they would always reply "you are so beautiful! You are the most lovely girl we have ever seen!" However, she knew that even if she were terribly ugly they would never tell her because they loved her so. So she began asking her friends, "what do I look like?" But they were proud and full of envy and always replied, "you look like the rest of us."
The girl continued to grow in age and beauty, and when she was grown she no longer asked people what she looked like, but deep inside she longed to know. She needed to know.
Then one day the wizard came to the castle and told the princess how he loved her and longed to marry her. He hoped that because she didn't know how lovely she was that she would say yes in fear of never finding another to marry her. The princess did not know that the wizard had long been the captor of her reflection and had prevented her from knowing herself. She consented to the marriage on the condition that she have five days to seek out her reflection in the land. The wizard, believing that she would never be able to find the reflection, grinned his evil grin and agreed to let her go and return to marry him in five days time.
The princess set out on horse to visit every nook and cranny in the kingdom. She looked down every well, and into every shop window. It was no where to be found. So on the fifth day she set out to return to the castle where the evil wizard was waiting. Just before the castle, the princess stopped to spend some time alone in a quiet meadow. She sat in the meadow, watching the flowers sway in the breeze. As she sat, a shepherd came over the hill guiding a flock of white sheep. She had heard of this shepherd before. All the people of the town spoke of him as honest and kind. She wanted to know what his face was like, because she had heard his name many times before. She walked to him and when she drew near she noticed that he had very large, dark, lovely eyes. She drew closer still to look at his eyes, and when she was so close that she could touch him she noticed the most amazing thing. When she looked into his eyes she could see... herself. She could see her own eyes, her face, her hair.... And she could see that she was smiling. When she realized that he was staring back at her she was embarrassed and looked away. The shepherd said" no, don't look away, I have long waited to show you who you are. A wizard came to me when I was a young boy and hid something of yours in my eyes. He told me you would never look at me because your beauty would never allow you to set eyes on someone so meager and lowly. But I believed in your kindness and good heart and knew that someday you would look into my eyes and find yourself."
The princess was stunned, and the moment she learned the truth her reflection was set free, and through the eyes of the shepherd she finally knew herself.

The end

Semi-Homade Soups

I am often experimenting with "what I already have on hand" style cooking. It has been really chilly in my house the past several mornings which has started some new experimenting with soups. Sure, I could just buy it ready made in the can, but I want to make things a little hardier and tastier (and use things I usually have around.
So here are the results so far
Yesterday: pea soup
- 1 can peas
- 2tbs butter
- 1 tbs flour mixed with 1/2 cup milk BEFORE added to melted butter and peas
-plenty of black pepper
- a dash of salt

I hope most of this is at least semi self explanitory. I do mash to peas a little with the back of a spoon, but that's because I like it mushy.

Today: Heart creamy tomato
-1can diced tomatoes
-1/2 a can tomato paste
-1 can cream celery soup
-1/4 cup milk
-pepper, onion power, beef bouillon to taste

Simmer LOW for as long as you can with out over cooking, this could probaby go in a crock pot with some other veggies added to make a veggie soup.


Tomorrow I'm planning on something potato :)

Perfect Faithfulness

I am writing to you, my friends, as this story is unfolding. This is really amazing and I want to share what God is doing in the past 48 hours in my life.

You all know how badly I have been wanting to return to school so that I can attend bible seminary and learn to serve the Lord on a new level. This idea has been burning in my heart for months. By the time summer was in full swing and colleges were putting out their fall enrollment schedules it was clear that there was no way we were going to be able to afford for me to return to school. As a matter of fact we have often wondered how we are going to stay afloat financially much longer! It has been starting to get a little scary. At the same time I have felt a strong feeling from the Holy Spirit urging me to stay calm and wait because something is "about to happen". I constantly had this feeling like: "any minute... here it comes... any minute." But what could that solution be? There was NOTHING in my mind that could prove to change our situation anytime soon. Everything is LEAN.

Then things started to happen. I'm not going to talk about all of them, because that would just be boring for you. God started to present us with all these blessings. If you know me at all I have been walking through the valley with my Shepherd for soooo long that I get a little nervous when certain types of blessing present themselves. So things that would seem really small to someone else are HUGE to me. Here is just one example: I had the privilege of receiving a BEAUTIFUL dish set that has been in my family for eons. It meant so much to me to bring this dish set in my home yesterday. I suddenly felt like I had acquired an enormous wealth.

So, anyway, these types of blessings were "falling out of the sky" all day yesterday. I was giddy. Then, here's the kicker. When Bryan was at work someone informed him that the G.I. bill has been changed so that it is now transferable to spouses!! What?!!! And you think that's crazy, apparently all the benefits of the G.I bill are transferable from someone who is no longer active duty including HOUSING ALLOWANCE while the person is attending school full time. If anyone knows about any of this and can inform me whether I am correct with this information or not please let me know.
So, I'm going to go back to my room and lay on my face a little longer because I just can't take it. God is too good for me. I'm waiting to know if this is going to be real.

"Oh Lord, Thou are my God: I will exalt thee, I will give thanks to thy name; For thou hast worked wonders, Plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness." Isaiah 25:1