I'm sure there is some wonderful lady out there who doesn't mind, or maybe even enjoys jean shopping. Not me. Even planning to go shopping for a new pair of jeans kinda makes me feel like I am hyper-ventilating and ready to chew all my nails off. Hmm, what size will I be this time...? UGH!! I think we should all consider going back to corsets and full length gowns. Then the kicker is that I have to pay money, usually more than I want to spend, for these stitches of self-loathing. Usually you have to pay extra for the kind that doesn't emphasize the muffin-top, or make your rear look like it's actually connected to the rest of your body.
Who came up with this stuff? Why do we wear these? I mean, it's fine for men, because we aren't visual creatures and we focus on the heart of the man in the pants and not the rear view of the man in the pants. For us, though, it's a whole different enchilada. We work out, we diet, we try all kinds of gizmos and throw away tons of money; not to look good naked... TO LOOK GOOD IN THOSE STUPID JEANS!!!
Recently my main problem with jeans is getting them to stay up. Don't misunderstand, I don't mean like I'm so little and cute size 0 is just too big. No no no, I mean they just don't, none of them. They search for the narrowest place to rest, so they slide on down to that area between the gut and the butt. Not a good place. They should not call this "The Artist" style, or "The boyfriend", no it should be "The Dough ball", or "The Spare". It just accentuates that jelly role!
I'm so glad my husband loves me the way I am.
So there you have it ladies....
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2 comments:
I am right there with you. I hate shopping for jeans. Not only do I have to deal with the mommy gut, I have to deal with the height.
Because, you know, whoever makes these stitches of evil think that "petite" means a cute little skinny thing that is not shorter then 5'2" and is a size 6.
LOL! Your a crack head...literally ha! Actually I have the same problem only its because I have narrow hips and no ass for them to stop at...I seriously have pants, wait, jeans that I don't have to unbutton to get off :(
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