I've been up since 4:44

I am such a wreck today. Poor Keren gets to hear me whine for a couple hours this morning. Hopefully after a latte I will be in a better mood.
In my defense I must say it is all hormones fault. I am not usually a tearful, fretful, or whiney type. But I have been having these OUTRAGEOUS mood swings. Yesterday at bible study we watched a video taught by Beth Moore, whom I really enjoy. I actually got up and left because she was yelling. If you have ever seen her teach you know what I mean. She gets really into it, I grew up in Texas so I understand her style. But yesterday I wanted to run for cover. My small group looked at me like I was CRAZY when I came back, and my only explanation was "she was yelling".
So anyway. Bryan has tomorrow off and then he takes off for the Big Apple. I am so nervous about him being gone. I'm really sick of being pregnant, but I am HORRIFIED of having the baby without him here. I think I would be damaged forever. I can't think of another person who I would let in the delivery room with me, I only want him. Let me put it this way; we've been through some "stuff" together and he is seriously like my security blanket. My Achilles heel. He always stays with me in recovery too. We even sleep in the tiny hospital bed together.
So anyway, the pressure to stay pregnant for 2 more weeks is on (that's kind of a long time)He comes back the 12th (hopefully).
((sigh)) "what's for breakfast?"

"Lord help me to have more courage. I know that I should be enjoying so many blessings right now, but instead I am full of doubt. Help me to meet this test with belief instead of unbelief. You already know what the next step should be. PLEASE protect my husband. I ask this every morning when he leaves for work, and I will probably never stop doing this, but please let it be because I trust you with his life and not because I think I need to remind you about him. Please fill this day with unexpected blessings for my family, and my friends. Amen."