Be in the world but not of the world.

I am really going to make a point to talk about what is truthfully on my mind on this blog, otherwise, what's the point?
So here here goes.
About two months ago Bryan and I made the decision to leave our rental house and move in with my mother in law. This decision was based on long standing financial issues that were not going away on their own. Most problems developing after leaving active duty a couple years ago. Also impacted by the current attempt to short sale our house in New York (which we have been sitting on all this time) and the news that we are having another addition to the family. So co-habitation was a win win situation for everyone involved (we are helping her financially as well).
I took over the finances (which I should have years ago) a couple months ago and I must say it is a much better fit for me than for Bryan. So we sat down last weekend and talked about how much progress we have made, what are goals are, and what needs to happen next. I am proud to say that we have downsized and our only current debt (not counting utilities) is our one truck. We have personal debts that still have to be settled, and we need to begin to rebuild our savings (which was depleted when we relocated back to Washington).
The main point of this is that we also sat down to determine how long we are going to plan to continue to co-habitate. I knew the answer. It was all very clear and logical. I had crunched the numbers myself. "At least 8 months would be ideal", I told them. Bryan and his mom agreed and felt very positive about this statement. I on the other hand, didn't want to hear what I was saying out loud. Baby is due in January, we aren't planning to start looking at houses until March. I couldn't help the disappointment.
So yesterday I was moping. I'm the only one who has any negative feelings about this situation. We have plenty of space where we are. I have daily help with kids and house work. It should be ideal. But the one problem for me. There isn't anywhere for a nursery. No where to put baby things. It's not because I want to by things, or about the materialism of it all. It's about planning, nesting, anticipating.
Once we move the baby will be a couple months old and ready for his/her own room. Everything really does fit together well. It just isn't what I was hoping for. It's not the dream come true. That's the way life is. And I know how much better we are going to be for sticking this one out. For our kids. It just hurts a little.
I would love to hear from any of my buddies who have or are having financial issues. Whether you need some advice on how we eliminated our debt, or just want to vent. E-mail me.

"Lord, help me to begin this week with a thankful attitude. Help me to be content with each special moment and not be worried about the future. Also help me to remember that I live in America, and I don't really know what real wanting or hunger is like. Help me also to be more concerned with how I am blessing those around me and not what I am getting for myself. Amen."