Aiden's First Day of K

Okay, I'm way too much of a realist to sugar coat this blog for everyone. I would rather tell the truth, thus creating a way for someone else to learn/benefit from my experience.
I dropped Aiden off at his new classroom yesterday morning. I new he was going to enjoy himself and he wasn't sad to see me leave. He loves being around people, although he doesn't understand most social norms or understand how to interact appropriately. So there was no problem with the drop off.
I enjoyed a long kid free day, while Jack went for a day with my mom. I had a lot to get done, but it was all with out the struggles I usually endure in a normal day.
Oh, and I had a Dr appointment, everything went fine. I liked the number on their scale better than the one at home (I think Cindy's scale is rigged).
At 3:40 I was at the school waiting with all the other first time kindergartner's mommies and daddies out front. Aiden's class come out in a squiggly line. Many kiddies went running with backpacks bouncing and papers flying to greet their proud mommies.
Aiden screamed. He threw his hands in the air when he saw me. I don't mean in a good happy way. I kind of new it was going to be this way, but I hoped it wouldn't. I had to extract him from his teacher, kicking and crying. "I think he wants to go on the bus" she told me with a look of pity on her face. "He did well today, and the only tantrums were in transitions, just like we predicted, but in the classroom he was pretty good" I knew this was good news but all the other children were being so "normal" that I couldn't feel happy.
It took about 15 minutes to get him in the truck. He was lying on the ground in the middle of the parking lot (in front of the "normal" kids and their parents) behaving like a rabid animal. I was really lucky I was able to get him to the truck without help.
I should start wearing ear plugs when I have to do things like this. It would protect my ear drums from the shrieking, and I wouldn't have to hear all the comments being hurled.
So I didn't want to talk to anybody for the rest of the evening. We got home around 4, and then it was time for the dinner and bedtime routines. He was really off the rest of the day, very noisy and wired.
I know, I should feel nothing but grateful for the help I am receiving and the quiet day yesterday. But you have to understand that I am grieving. I am morning the loss of a "normal" child and all the experiences that I am missing out on along the way. There will be a different kind of joy from reaching other milestones, but it can't replace what I am loosing. There was no "Mommy! Look what I made! I did so much today..."
I was really looking forward to sharing this day with him, but nobody imagines their baby's first day of school this way.

"Lord, bless the poor in spirit today. I have so much to do and no energy to do it with. Please give me joy, help me to choose happiness today. All the difficulties are just part of life. Remind me that you have given me freedom from these burdens. You have blessed me in so many ways that the world can't provide. Amen."