(Left:cloth diapers my friend Amy found me onCraigs list. They are super cute, supposedly
very easy to use)
In a couple of days I will be starting the 3rd trimester of this, last ever, pregnancy. On one hand I am so ready for the end. I love the last 4 weeks when the anticipation builds. I also love having holiday babies, it makes it extra exciting.
On the other hand, I feel so unprepared. I'm afraid of having another fussy baby like Jack. I want to know what is going to happen with our housing situation and if Bryan is going to get a good raise. I want Aiden to finally get settled and get the extra help he needs at school. I am also a little sad to give up even more of my freedom and "me"time.
I have fears about how much weight I will have gained when this is over (selfish, I know). I have fears about not getting enough sleep, not having enough money, having too much stress, not having time with Bryan, how the kids are going to react, if she will be healthy, etc, on and on.
I know much of this is pregnancy related. It's that nesting feeling women get when they want EVERYTHING to be perfect and squared away BEFORE the baby is born (as if it is going to add some extra joy to the experience). Things that usually aren't that important suddenly seem critical.
I hit the 18lb mark today. I hate watching the scale go up after working so hard to make it go down. It must be necessary I guess. I have about 13 weeks to go and I only have 12 lbs before my goal weight (that I'm trying not to pass) to total a healthy 30lb weight gain. But I have a sneaking suspicion that all that lovely water weight that appears in the last few weeks is going to blow 10 lbs away.
So this blog obviously turned out to be mostly about where I am in this pregnancy (preparation H, poise pads, stool softeners, iron pills, and extra strength deodorant). I don't really talk/think about it all that often.
"Lord, help me to start to really bond with Lucy. I know I have been really ungrateful at times. Help me to enjoy this time with the boys, and make good use of the extra time I have on my own. Help me to trust that everything we need for our family will be provided in your perfect time."
3 comments:
Hang in there, Mandi! If it makes you feel any better, I've already passed the 20 lbs mark (at my last appointment). Bummer. Oh well, this is my last time (like you) of having to gain weight like this! It's for a good cause too! :)
I totally got your back on the preparation H, stool softeners(or in my case a handful of fiber pills), and iron pills. It is sooo not fun to have to spot treat your underwear because your hemroids are "spotting". Ug!
Hey Mandy,
Although I don't know the stress that comes when expecting a baby, which I can imagine is a lot, I do understand stress. My favorite verse for that is Phil. 4:4-7. I won't write it all out, but knowing that I can have peace from God even when it doesn't make sense that I should is a huge comfort. Hope that you're able to have a good stress-free day, and I'm praying that you get times of rest this week.
God bless, Rachel
(Dave Allen's sister)
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