2010:

1) So this is (for me) a pretty major announcement. Next fall, Bryan and I have decided that Aiden is going to start homeschooling. I am excited, scared, overwhelmed, and so many other feelings. Our world and schedule is going to change. Hopefully for the better. We have never been a particularly "home school minded" family, but we have always said we would do whatever we felt was best for each child. In Aiden's case public school is generally the opposite of what he needs in every way. I personally enjoyed my public school experience and still feel that it will be a good fit for Jack in a couple years. Aiden learns differently and we are going to give him what he needs. He has also fallen SO far behind. We will actually be starting over with Kindergarten curriculum first semester (he would be in second grade in the fall).
This is going to be a new challenge and after having him home for break, which I thought was going to be a huge struggle, I find that God has really motivated my heart to do this.

2)I want to go back to school. I can't even tell you how much I want to finish school. However it gives me the same fear and anxiety I feel about Aiden's school next year. But I think it's time. I'm going to be making a trip to Pierce soon to find out about my transcripts and see if they offer what I need. I also need prayer in this area because I'm not sure exactly what I want to study or how far I should take it. I know that I want to take more English classes, which leads to my next 2010 goal....

3) I want to start writing so badly, but I feel unequipped, and exhausted by my noise house. I know God is going to provide a solution (which for now the answer was "go back to school") I also need to start saving up to buy myself a cheap little laptop, so when I actually start school I will be able to handle the work load along with life at home.

4)This one is painful... I'm still having a hard time talking about it. But after much prayer and advice from Bryan, I have to drop one of my MOPS groups next year. It's just too much, and along with school(s) something has to give. I am going to continue ministry in the evening MOPS, we are making great strides and I think it will best work with my family schedule. It's just tough because I LOVE my morning group, and have become so attached to the women there. ((sigh)) ok, don't really want to talk about that anymore.

5)This one is hard to pinpoint, and it probably has something to do with the beginning of a new year, but God is stirring my heart right now. Things have been quiet, almost stagnant for a while. I haven't been motivated and my focus has often been selfish. Although I think if may have been necessary to have a few blah months before getting amped up for something new. Something exciting is on the horizon.
"Runners keep on running..."

Welcome 2010, and it looks like I'll have a whole new lot of things to blog about. Yay! Happy New Year!

AND, I almost forgot. Here is a challange for some of you who enjoy quiet time and prayer everyday, or for someone who is looking to "spice up" your prayer life. For over a year now I have been covering my head when I pray and study

1Corinthians 3-10
3Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 4Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. 5And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is just as though her head were shaved. 6If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. 7A man ought not to cover his head,[b] since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. 8For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head.

Interresting, hmm? So anyway, try it and see what you think. What I can say is that it has changed my prayer life. And my kids got used to seeing me with a pashmina over my head really quickly :)

Birthday Buddy

Happy birthday Lucy Clover, and happy birthday me.

Mandi's Decade of Favorite Things

1) Starbucks

2) Having babies

3) Being blonde

4) Arrested Development

5) Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer

6) The Sounds

7) black

8) emo kids bagging my groceries

9) texting

10) getting married (Jan. 5 2002)

11) homemade/boutique baby items

12) my iPod

13) Deadwood

14) Harry Potter



15) MOPS

16) Hawaii (twice, 2001 and 2009)

17) reading (something I didn't do from 2000-2004, but remembered how awesome it is in 2005)

18) Chevy's

19) Twilight

20) reconnecting with old friends

21) The Legend of Zelda, Windwaker

22) red wine

23) Besty Johnson

24) the library

25) The Tutors

26) C.S.Lewis

27) having an espresso maker at home

28) Main St, Sumner

29) Jenny Macarthy

30) Fuego

31) "30 Rock"

32) Christmas shopping trips to downtown with my mom

33) my silly children

34) No Doubt concerts

35) salted carmel

36) washer and dryer

37) black nail polish (in a Chanel kind of way and not a goth kind of way)

38) living near family

39) wine pairings

40) whole milk (0 carbs)

Happy birthday, my baby boy

Three years ago today, my 3rd son Jackson Cash, was born.
There was a time I didn't think I was doing to have more children, and that the loss of Nolan Michael would leave my arms empty and longing for another baby and a brother for my little Aiden.
God had other plans... he had Jack.
He is so sweet and charming. He is indeed the peacemaker and the quiet one, but he is also brave and so funny. He often reminds me of myself, and as every mother knows, that is so precious. He likes everything and everyone, but he doesn't do things for attention and is often the one to sneak off and go to bed during a party or playdate. He also has model good looks (says his mother).
Happy birthday Jack-Jack.

sugar-coma

I am laying here in bed, about to slip into a coma from all the sugar and Christmas carbs I have eaten the past few days, and I am thinking about how nice it will feel to work out tonight (after I wake up from my coma). So, to all my shredding and skinny jeans friends...
Please be thinking about some new year goals you would like to make for your self. This is a great time to make a clean break from all those bad eating habits. Go ahead and enjoy the rest of your holiday, obviously I am.

Ugh, I ate thirds of the cheesy potatoes, and now I'm regretting so many things.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Merry Merry Christmas!

How are you planning to spend your Christmas? Are you stressed out? Over scheduled? Or maybe lonely and wondering why everyone else in the world is so happy.

What is "Christmas"?

"The word Christmas originated as a compound meaning "Christ's Mass". It is derived from the Middle English Christemasse and Old English Cristes mæsse, a phrase first recorded in 1038.[6] "Cristes" is from Greek Christos and "mæsse" is from Latin missa (the holy mass). In Greek, the letter Χ (chi), is the first letter of Christ, and it, or the similar Roman letter X, has been used as an abbreviation for Christ since the mid-16th century.[13] Hence, Xmas is often used as an abbreviation for Christmas." -Wikipedia (please see here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas for more)

It has taken several years of Christmases to finally stop spending our family into a hole every year. Gifts gifts gifts. My dream Christmas is one where ALL the gifts, even for the kids, are home made. Gifts that are sewn, woven, carved, grown, baked, and full of love. Christmas reminds me every year how all our modern technology has sucked and drained the simplicity and contentment out of living. Children often require lights, sounds, batteries, and lots of big huge boxes to be satisfied; it's what their peers get and what the media is telling them they should have!
Wouldn't it be so fun to fill a stocking with oranges, peppermint sticks, and paper dolls knowing that your little one is going to be thrilled at the loot!
I know, I know, Christmas is not about the gifts or the getting, but don't these things have something in common with the true meaning of Christmas. I think so. I think what we could be teaching our children, is that because of the baby in the manger we have EVERYTHING we could possibly want! We have purpose, everlasting life, and a God-Father who loves us. Contentment! When you feel full and content in God's love, everything else is a just a nice little treat. No more trying to fill the empty void inside with things, false promises, and "human love". Families will be broken, money will be short, and life will be hard...
but a fresh orange and a kiss from mommy and daddy on the day the savior was born, what a real treat!

Martin Family Christmas letter:

Dear family and friends,
It has been another wonderful and blessed year in the Martin home. We are enjoying our new home, we moved in back in January, and we'd like to update everyone on what our family has been up to this past year.
Aiden, our big first grader has finally found his passion, acting. He has decided he will be attending acting school school next fall. As we always suspected his favorite genre where he plans to focus his studies is in musical theater.
Jack is going to be three after Christmas and is getting bigger and smarter every day. He no longer takes the beatings from his older brother, and usually dishes out his fair share. He recently got a new toy at McDonalds that has become his current favorite. It is a dragon he named "Buttrash".
Lulu still doesn't do anything impressive, although she has currently taken to ingesting her ponytail holders.
Bryan and I were blessed to go on a romantic vacation to Hawaii this past September. We had a fabulous time. We are hoping to make another trip in August, but this time we will plan ahead, and be sure never to come back.
So that just about sums up the 2009 highlights from the Martin family.

Merry Christmas to you and yours, and a happy New Year as well!

Christmas/Birthday gifts

It is exactly 1:00 am, Sunday "morning". These are not the hours I usually keep, but I was awake and snuck downstairs so not to wake my poor hubby. There are several reasons why I'm having trouble sleeping and one of them is after my guys week long trip, the snoring has returned.
Moving on.
So, I'm sure this falls somewhere in the lines of "bragging", which isn't my intention. I'm just really excited because Bryan and I haven't exchanged Christmas gifts in years, it's all about the kids now. But , this year he went to far above and beyond for me (so really I'm bragging about how much I love my guy). He's also really impatient and none of it could wait for Christmas.
First, he bought me a shiny new Ipod Nano (actually we used our credit card points to order each other each a gift, he got Bose earphones). I just love it, I'm constantly using it, and I didn't think I wanted one!
Then, after hearing me complain about how long it takes to make pancakes for our family of 5, he ordered me a HUGE and fabulous new griddle. I'm so excited to use it this week. May sound like a silly thing, but really it will make it possible to make pancakes for everyone in 5-10 minutes instead of 20-30.
Then, when he got home from the Big Apple today he surprised me yet again. He handed me a big pink bag that said "Betsy Johnson" on it and several other packages and said "Merry Christmas". I won't tell you about everything in the bag but he did get me a necklace and earring set I absolutely LOVE, I just LOVE Betsy. There were also several things from the NBC store as well, such as a "Shrute Farms" ornament.
I just feel so loved.

Friendship

It has been a while since I posted a really honest, upfront, no nonsense blog. I have had something on my mind, probably because Bryan is out of town. Some of you may relate to this and some may be fortunate enough not to relate at all.(and mom, I'm not depressed or sad I'm just being open)
It has literally been years since I have had a friend (female, not my husband) who I felt I could call anytime, for no reason, or when I need to vent. I don't have a "bestie".
I know some women who are so blessed with a group of women they can depend on. That just hasn't happened to me. I'm sure there is also something about me that makes me a little unapproachable to some people. Not sure. And I don't have the time and energy to cultivate some of my existing relationships, I want them to just develop naturally.
A few years ago I was meeting with a mentor of mine and we were talking about stress, marriage, life etc. She began encouraging me to pray for some relationships. Maybe not bosom buddies, but something stronger than acquaintances. Still praying.
There are times I am so wrapped up in my own mind and my own family that I don't even notice the lack of friendships.
LATELY, I have been having issues with my commitments and how I am spending my time and energy. I have given a lot of myself all over the place, and have tried to be a real servant to those around me. After I completely wore myself out (and had a week of alone time) I realized that my frustration was really how my efforts weren't producing one of the things I had been unknowingly seeking. Not bringing me any closer to anyone around me. Why?

So here's a little disclaimer to this (don't leave me notes about this part):
I know that I am an extremely "complicated" person. I use words that are too big ("Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say "infinitely" when you mean "very"; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite. -C.S.Lewis) And I'm probably a know it all... yeah definatly. So the point is I'm not blaming this whole issue on God, or people, or circumstances, yes some of it is me.
Anyway, so what is it about women as they get older (and more territorial) that we struggle so much to develop healthy friendships with other women? It was so easy when I was young. I had "best friends" all over the place that fizzled and faded away. And now... ?
I have friends that I love, talk to weekly-ish, chat with, and so on; no life long friends. Does anyone even know me? Do I really know my friends?
And when we reach these complicated years of life, when we are raising precious children, trying to have successful marriages, and attempting to keep our identities, isn't this a time when having strong friendships would be so incredibly HELPFUL?
Anyway, yes, I said this was going to be honest. God is all we need, but he also created humans to want friendship and connectedness (is that a word?).

mid week sneak peak weigh in

...just under 6 lbs.

Big Announcement...

I have moved to Shred level 2.

And I'm weighing in tomorrow morning:)
Okay, this is me checking in with all my skinny jeans pals. I have been a perfect angel since Sunday (3 days). No carbs and doing those bicycle-crunches like a champ.
So this is a good opportunity for everyone to TAKE THE POLL on the right side of my blog (thank you Missy for pointing that out). Tomorrow will be kind of the "mid week sneak peak", if you will.

What have I been listening to on my flashy new iPod while I do those plank jacks? The tunes of the week: New Moon (the motion picture soundtrack) I'll try to upload a sample for everyone who hangs out with me on facebook tomorrow :)

Favorite almost no carb food of the day: Little smokies sausages dipped in Taco Bell Fire sauce. Haha, yeah I really did do that. But really, I had a nice salad with blue cheese and grape tomatoes for dinner, yummy.

Favorite motivation to get that work out done at night: I've re reading my favorite book series while Bryan has been gone (gee my taste has recently become frighteningly limited, and I used to think I was semi intelligent) and all I want to do it night is snuggle and read. But I gotta be honest with you gals... I am so much more comfortable when I have exercised. My legs aren't falling asleep and my sciatica isn't screaming. I don't know how else to explain it. Edward has gotten me through the walking push ups every night (actually I kinda like the walking push ups).

Motivationalpic of the day brought to you by Elizabeth Taylor... white diamonds baby





Ado!

Lump of Coal

I know, I know. It's been waay too long since my last post. I had 4 Christmas parties last week, that's right, 4. And I was trying to spend some time with my poor hubby before he left for NY.
So now that I am here with out him this week I am in the best position possible to get back on the bandwagon.
I ate SO much last week, and only worked out 3 times. So sad. And that compiled with other things, I gained a good 3 lbs. Stink. Good thing it's cold out there so I can wear lots of hoodies.
So, this week I'm going to take full advantage of Bry being gone (I don't have to cook man food) and when I went to the grocery yesterday I bought lots of low/no carb stuff. This afternoon while the kids are napping I have been working on a yummy crust less quiche. Spinach, feta, cottage cheese, sausage, peppers and onion (and egg of course) and since the only other person around here who will even touch it is Lulu, I will have food for a couple days. I also have to give a shout out to the Fred Meyer brand "Carb Conrtol" yogurt. I have tried lots of low carb yogurts that have all been NASTY and full of artificial sweetener. This one, however, was cheap and tasty. Other things I have on hand:
-cottage cheese
-cheese sticks
-turkey bacon
-chicken breasts
-meatballs
-salsa
-ranch dressing
-salad
-lunch meats
-turkey dogs
-salmon (frozen uncooked)
-salmon (canned)
-tuna
-spinach
-broccoli
-cauliflower
-2%milk for lattes
-peanut butter
-lots of ground beef (with which you can make gourmet burgers, taco salad, and various meatballs)

No ones going hungry over here. (And wheat and starches are bad for you even if you aren't trying to loose weight)

So today marks day one. I thought it would be fun to see how many pounds I loose eating this way and shredding between now and when Bry comes home. Should we find out? Ok, and if it works then maybe some of you will want to join in.
Everyone make your guesses at the poll I created on the right side of my blog.

Yay, skinny jeans for me! (maybe even next month?)




** when you are trying to cut carbs check out the diabetic section at the grocery and pharmacy. and look for the sugar free version of condiments like pickle relish.

Thanks Dri :)

Trying to decide whether or not to work out today. Wondering if this is worth it and if it could really work? Here is a video made by a friend of mine for Exercize Tv. That's right, this is a real person I know, not an actor making the story up. Check it out. If this doesn't get you going then I give up (not really):

Holiday tips on gift receiving

1. When receiving a gift you feel is useless or of no value; refrain from confused expressions or speechlessness. Instead give your friend or loved one a hug so that they can't see your face, and a hug is worth a thousand words.

2. When receiving a gift from someone who is elderly or advanced in age; refrain from commenting on it's strange odor or likeness to what they got you last year. If it is a similar stuffed animal to the one they got you for your birthday say something thoughtful like "Oh, how nice, a friend for teddy-muffin. Thank you so much."

3. When unwrapping a gift you must be cautious not to tear the paper away with too much vigor, it puts too much pressure on the giver to meet your expectations. Unwrap slowly and careful while telling the generous gifter how much you are enjoying the paper and that you might like to save it for something later.




4. If the gift you are unwrapping was wrapped with more than one roll of scotch tape it is always appropriate to say "wow, you did a really secure job of wrapping this." This shows that you pay attention to all their hard work.

5. It is okay to wait until the gifter is not looking or cause a distraction that gives you time to shake the box and make sure that strange odor is not in fact coming from the box. If you find that the smell or scratching sounds are in fact coming from your gift, tell the giver that you have a rule about opening gifts before Christmas and you want to take the gift home and put it under your tree. Release the gift once you are outside and a safe distance (at least 20meters) away from any buildings or schools.

6. If an estranged family member drives across town to offer you a gift tell them you can't with out a lawyer present and calmly shut the door. The best place to seek shelter in this situation is in a bathtub with a mattress pulled over the top protecting you from heavy falling objects.

7. If a child picks out a gift "just for you", it's probably something good.

Merry Getmas



** Note to my Skinny jeans friends: I worked out today and used my new ipod Bryan got me for x-mas. SO mush better with my music, I still Shreded, just with out listening to Jillian. I think I worked harder too, my music gets me moving.
Try it out if you're looking for new stuff:
"Crossing the Rubicon" is the name of the album by The Sounds

...and good Monday to ya.

*I forgot to my Skinny Jeans friends that I DON'T work out on Sundays. There are very few exceptions to that. It is really our family days and is often either really busy or we're trying to spend time doing family stuff. So I just don't.

But... today is not Sunday anymore! I am so sore!
(for daily work your butt off updates follow me on facebook)

Anyhoo-
Tonight is my morning MOPS Christmas party at my house. All my little green table gals are coming over and I am SO excited I get to hang out with them (kid free) for a whole evening! I'm doing lots of treat making this morning. Rice Crispy Treats dipped in chocolate, while chocolate covered strawberry shortcake bites, and maybe some cream cheese lemon bars. Yummy.

Tomorrow there's more MOPS Christmas fun for me! My evening MOPS is having their first Christmas party. If any of you have ever considered visiting my MOPS, seriously, this is the night to do it. I don't want to give anything away, but OH MY!! (lets just say there are going to be some killer give-aways)

This week is probably going to be the craziest week of my entire year. Good thing Aiden still has school next week so I can get my act together before Christmas break.

So all this fabulous excitement, fun and blessings has me in a big ball of juicy, amorous Christmas love. God is so good. This year he has blessed me with amazing friends, a ministry I love, and a new home to celebrate in with my friends and family. Life on earth couldn't get much better.

"Dear Lord, thank you so much for your all knowing ways. Thank you for all that you have taught me and allowed me to see about this life and what you are doing here on earth. Thank you for my family. Thank you for my friends. Please continue to give us strength and peace through the holiday, I know that it can become a time of strain and sadness for some, including myself. Thank you, thank you! Amen."

Motivational Dreams for Saturday Night

So I'm going to start with a shout out to everyone who has responded to my offer to dream skinny jeans together...
Jessica (my returning work out buddy and sidekick)
Amy
Caitlin
Mel
Maybe Missy?
Maybe Hayley?

So here we are, it's Saturday night, what are you doing right now? Probably hanging with your fam, watching the boob-tube, doing some cooking...
Are you going to work out tonight?
I don't want to, should I do it? So if I do, and tomorrow a.m. (before church of course) I post how fabulous I feel because I did my 25 minutes tonight? How will you feel then?
I know that I can squeeze it in right after I get the kids in bed, hubby will still be finishing up in the garage or checking his email. Don't have your video yet? No worries, check your comcast on demand in the sports and fitness section. Exercise TV has lots to choose from and Shred is usually on there...

So here's what I'm going to do now: I'm going to go upstairs and put my favorite Adidas sports bra on, some comfy shorts and t. Then I'm going to put on my favorite pink Adidas shoes that have been waiting patiently for several weeks (since Hawaii to be precise). Then I'm going to start stretching and wait for the video to start. Between here and there I'm not going to question it anymore.
My saggy butt needs it.
My jelly-belly wants it.
And I'm gonna give it to em.




**BONUS: Do a good job and in a few weeks I will plan a treat for us (a healthy inspirational treat of course)

Bryan bought me a new ipod for Christmas, it should be arriving in the mail soon. Can't wait to make a playlist to share with all of you for sweaty-time!

COMING SOON: Friday December 11 I will be restocking my pantry. wanna know what I eat to get rid of my love handles quicker? I'll fill you in on all my juicy tips.

Dream Skinny Jeans

The end of the Year is coming and I am officially looking for some new fitness buddies. Here's what I plan to do and you can to:

- "Shred" with Jiliian Micheals. You can get yours at Target for $10-14. With it you will need a very small set of hand weights and some comfy sneakers.

- Sign up on the website of your choice to find out your BMI to decide what your weight loss goal is going to be. For example I base mine on a weight that in in the middle of my healthy weight range that I know I can maintain. I know that I will never be healthy at 105lbs so I would never make that my goal. You can also find one with online progress trackers and other fun things.

-Work out (Shred) at least 5 days a week. Evenings after the kids are in bed is what gets me the best results. It also helps keep my hormones in check.

- I'm going to try to detox from sugar, starches, carbs, and gluten. Why do I do that over and over? Because it works, although if you slip up the craving will return. It also makes me feel SO much better and gives me more energy.

-Take your vitamins everyday.

-Find things that keep you busy during the day so you don't go circles around the house thinking about your diet.

-Keep a notebook around to vent in.


You're probably wondering, why now? it's almost Christmas? Well, I would rather start exercising now instead of gaining ten more pounds over the holiday that I have to loose in January. Don't worry, no guilt here, just encouragement. I like the buddy system. This will hardly cost you any money and you will see a difference in DAYS.

Leave me a comment, email, facebook, of text if you're interested. I'll blog/facebook my progress regularly for those who need encouragement. Maybe we could even plan a "Get your butt in to gear" party for after New Years. Could be fun!

New Moon: * *

It is time...
You all know how much I like to write a good 'ol movie review. Actually November 25, 2008 I blogged my review of "Twilight", it still stands.
So I am firmly convinced that the purpose of this movie was to try sway all of those die hard "Team Edward" fans over into the "Team Jacob" pile, or at least leave all of us somewhere between. Pretty successful on that front, but left me feeling really sad. I was really in love with Edward before and sure that Jake wasn't my type....
Anyway, the first time I saw the flick it was opening weekend and I was in a theater with with 200 tweens. They were awful! Making all these sound effects and noises. What does a 12 year old girl really care about Jacob Black peeling his shirt off 3ft from camera? More than they should I think. And that's not the worst part about it! Two words... Bryan and Matt. Yes boys, we know you think is dumb. Taking the men's club with me, HUGE MISTAKE.
So, last night I gave it a well deserved second chance. I wanted to at least enjoy it, even it I didn't love it. So I went with my mommy (who has read the books and went voluntarily).
SO-HUH-OH MUCH BETTER. Still not an award winner by any means, by rather quite true to the book. Of course it omitted much of the feeling and pining that Bella does when her vampire vamps off into the night leaving her all alone (tear).
I love the real Edward, the one trapped in the book, but Rob is going to have to earn his way back into my affections. Go team Jacob. I'm no wolf but I'm just gonna hang out on the fence for a while.

Two stars, one thumb, a few regrets.

Here is a teaser pic from the set of Eclipse

Grief Help

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. -CS Lewis

Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.-Albus Dumbledore

"my eyes are dim with grief.
I call to you, O LORD, every day;
I spread out my hands to you." -Psalm 88:9

In light of the several families who have lost their loved little babies this week I decided it may be helpful to some of you if I post some information on how to support, encourage, or just speak with a person who is grieving the loss of a baby. Often the things we think are going to be helpful to say or do are really not. If you have never experienced a similar loss it is probably hard for you to even imagine what the mother is going through. I can't include all the information I would like to, but here is a little and I hope it is helpful.

Here is a list of things people often say but probably shouldn't:

- "I know how you feel." (even if you have experienced a similar loss, only she knew her baby and therefore this is not a helpful statement)

- "How are you doing?" (this question is too complicated to answer)

-"You can always have other babies"/ "You can always try again." (she wants the baby she lost, not other babies. The idea of trying again can make her feel like the world sees her baby as replaceable or insignificant)

- "It was God's plan."/ "It's all in Gods control." (although this statement may at time be comforting to some, often it can invoke feelings of anger and doesn't help the situation to make any more sense)

- "Was there something you did while you were pregnant...?"/ "Was there something that could have been done to prevent this?" (it may seem impossible that there are people stupid enough out there to say this, but it was said to me many times and NONE of those people are my friends anymore)


Now here is a list of tips on how you can approach this person in conversation that can allow them to open up IF THEY WANT TO, and also show your concern in an appropriate way:

- "It hurts to see you go through this, please let me know if there is a way I can be helpful" (acknowledge that it is their experience you are feeling bad for, it's not about you)

- "If you ever want to talk to someone I would love to hear more about *baby's name*
(lets them know you are comfortable talking about the baby and recognize him/her as a real person)

- On a similar note, when you are talking to that person about their baby be sure to use the baby's name, it validates he/she as a person and member of the family. Over time the mother will have less and less chances to use their babies name out loud and down the road continuing to ask about the baby by name will give mom chances to use the precious word out loud.

- Just wait. You can't force mom to move forward.

-If you aren't sure what to say DON'T say anything, or a simple "I have been thinking about you" is appropriate.

-Admit when you don't know what to say or do. When you act over confident the mother may think you are underestimating her pain and that you are insensitive.

-Mark the baby's birthday (and loss day if the same) on the calendar now while you know for sure what it is. That way when the 6month and one year anniversary comes around you will not forget to send a card or do something to recognize that day for the mother. It will mean a lot to her to know that you haven't forgotten her child, and give her opportunities to talk about it.

-Cards are always a wonderful idea. Don't call or drop by unless the family has openly expressed that they want people around.

-Freezer meals are also a great thing.

- If you can offer to take the other children at your house as often as you can, maybe setting up a set day every week. There will be times that the mom wants her children near, but times when it may feel like she really needs to fall apart for a little while and needs to know they are somewhere having fun. This may be something she needs for many months.

-Pray for them, don't just say that you'll pray for them.

Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind. C. S. Lewis

"While the child was alive," he said, "I fasted and wept, thinking God might have mercy on me and the child would live. But now that he's dead, why fast? Can I bring him back now? I can go to him, but he can't come to me." -2Samuel 12:23 (the Message)

"Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted." -Matthew 5:4

Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see. -Helen Keller

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred NUMB our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

-"Held", by Natalie Grant

Thankful post-turkey

I am choosing peace over anxiousness today, so I'm going to do something I intended to do last week but never got around to. This is going to be my top 20 thankfuls for this morning. They are not in order from least to greatest, I'm just thinking about all of them instead of thinking about the things that could be causing me fear, pain, guilt or stress (no there's nothing major going on, I'm just a female and I fret).

20. Thankful for God's forgiveness and grace. I don't understand it, I just need it.

19. Thankful for each of my kids. I could make a whole list of thankfuls just about them, but I'm going to condense that for today.

18. Thankful for peppermint cocoa mix that made it possible for me to have yummy peppermint lattes at home everyday for the price of one at the Starbuck.

17. Thankful for my home. You can't understand the gravity and emotion in that statement unless you have gone with out one... trust me.

16. Thankful for my Christmas decorations. It's a silly thing, but it just makes my little house seem so warm and happy. It's a girl think I guess.

15. Thankful for a husband who enjoys studying the bible with me.

14. Thankful for my husband's job. So proud of him and how far we've come. And so blessed that he enjoys what he does.

13. Thankful for my kid who learns differently. I see lots of beauty in what the world views as damaged, Jesus is teaching me that. There are days I'm angry and frustrated and wishing for a "cure". But really when I think about it, I don't feel like I fit in here on earth any better than he does.

12. Thankful for Bryan's G.I. bill that is going to make it possible for me to go back to school and fulfill some of my goals.

11.Thankful for God's sense of humor.

10. Thankful for music.

9. Thankful for hot showers.

8. Thankful for our new/old table that is only days aways from finally being finished.

7. Thankful for kids that USUALLY sleep well at night.

6. Thankful for The Office. So funny. But mostly because it is a bonding opportunity for Bryan and I every Thursday night. Laughing together is the priceless.

5. Thankful I was born in America even though we don't know how blessed we are. We don't really know poverty or war.

4. Thankful for books. Escape.

3. Thankful for science and all it can teach us about God and how he works. Amazing.

2. Thankful for my sense of smell and taste. I went almost 2 weeks without either when I had flu/sinus infection. Terrible! Cupcakes are disgusting when you can't taste them.

1. Thankful for peace and quiet.


Here are a couple verses I have been pondering this week, sit and try to picture this

Genesis 1:2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

Exodus 20:21 The people remained at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was.

Have a happy, Thankful week. Happy Monday and goodbye November.

Why ask why

So here I am on this lovely fall morning, trying to figure out why God allowed both my phone and my coffee maker to go to the grave today. The answer I have come up with has something to do with "thou shalt not be productive", but I don't know if that's a real bible verse or not. So, instead I'm going to go with the better alternative and new agey meaning of "I'm gonna get a blackberry and a new coffee maker today, woo-hoo."
See, God turns our losses into something beautiful. The turn-around isn't usually this fast, but none the less, a brilliant lesson to be had.
Now for something completely different:
Aiden had a major reaction to wheat/glutein yesterday. Benadryl and all. I had suspected he had some kind of intolorence for a while but I've never seen anything so concrete about it. Hives, itching, upset, intesinal issues. Woa. So for real, wheat free here again. The biggest chanllange is going to be getting the DR to write me a note for the school. Forward, ever forward. And he recognized that it was making him sick which is also a good sign that he is going to come out of this fog he's been in for several weeks. Pray for my guy. He's so sweet, bit so young to have to deal with so many health issues and social challanges. He's a trooper.
Ya know what would make me feel better right now...?

Note: the look on Todd Packer's face

Christmas gifty sneak-peak

I decided that this year I'm actually going to try my hand at gift making. Now, we all know that I am not the "craftiest" girl out there. So I tried to find things that would play up my strong suits (ie. no sewing, glass chiseling, etc) The reason I'm so excited about doing all my gift giving this way this year is because a)it's cost effective b)it's earth friendly, but it's also personal (so don't make fun of my creations!)
I wanted to share a list of what I'm planning to make, as well as post pictures of things as they are finished along the way. Today was a list making and planning day. I got myself a binder to keep my plans in, and a tote to put things in to keep the kids away from everything during the day.
Now here's the dilema: if I tell you all the details you may find out about what I'm planning on making you for Christmas. So, enter at your own risk.
None of my crafts were really very creative ideas, but I have come up with ways to incorporate lots of "Mandisms" that should keep it all very interresting.

-Home-made recipe books with pictures and lots of practical information. I don't want to give away too much, but they will be titled "The Fastest Way to Your Man's Heart". So you will get some of my favorite recipes along with plenty of my creative writing. Most of the recipes are my own, and a few are family recipes. This is going to be my main gift to give to family and friends and will probably be the most time consuming, so I'm donna have to get plenty of printer ink ;)

-"I'm Sew Glad We're Friends" gifty-baskets. This is what I'm probably going to be giving to my mops moms and a few others. A few of the things included are: some cute fabric to play with, fun scissors, unique buttons, and lots more (depending what I can get a good deal on) all in some really cute little baskets

(OK, so I have to stop here to mention that all the rest of the things on my list have a secret "theme". It's going to rock your socks, but I can't reveal it yet. So many of these things sound typical right now, but trust me, this is going to be fun)

-Drink Marker Rings (for stemware, and mugs and cups with handles)

-Specialty Ornaments

-Bottle Brush Trees (that you won't want to put away when Christmas is over)

Okay, so aside from all the gifties I am going to do the 'ol candy and cookies gifties too. However, I did find an really cool cookie recipe for "animal pull toy" cookies for kiddies.
Next weekend will be my main shopping weekend for supplies, and after that I will post pictures of some items as they are completed.
6 weeks 6 days until Christmas. Pray for me.

Mandi's Flying Circus

I know, you've all had to wait a very long time for this, and here it is. A blog, by me. After months of being on medication to treat my post partum depression I am now well and rejuvinated, and best of all I have me wit back. Look out. So as a special treat, but don't expect this stuff everyday, I am going to share some silly ramblings from my life and my mind. With out further ado...


This is my brother, Wes. Some of you may remember him as a semi normal little boy who enjoyed soccer and power rangers. Now he has this mustache.(oh, and that is his normal girlfriend)



This is a tree that recently ALMOST fell on my parents house.



This year I volunteered to do some work at home to help out Aiden's teacher. What you see in this picture is an example of what she has been sending home to me. HUNDREDS of triangles to cut out. I have decided there are only 3 possible conclusions that can be drawn from this. 1)I am being punished for giving birth to an exrta-terrestrial brain leech 2)This is some kind of test. I'm very concerned about what will happen if I don't make the shapes "exact" as she requested in the intructions she sent home. 3) The third possibility had something to do with laziness, but upon further consideration I have ruled this one out because of the fact that she spends 7 hours a day with first graders.


This is a picture from the openning Sounders game I went to several months ago. I just wanted to post it.

Other than that I really don't have anything to add. I should probably go to bed, I have been suffering from what we have been calling "the illness that shall not be named", and I don't tell people what it is that I probably really do have, because I would no longer be accepted in public settings without having to wear a giant pig patch on the my clothing at all times.

It's good to be back. And I leave you with one more cheery little thing:

chili days

Trying to figure out what to do with all that left over chili? Here's how I turned it into another meal...

1 box Jiffy cornbread
leftover chili
1-2 cups grated cheese
1 can of creamed corn

First mix the jiffy cornbread according to the directions on the box, you will need a couple other things like eggs and milk.
Then add the creamed corn into the jiffy mixture.
Next thoroughly grease a casserole dish before pouring half the cornbread mixture in. Then layer the leftover chili on top. Then the cheese. Then top off with the rest of the cornbread mixture.
Bake 375 for 45 minutes.

green pastures

What is this place? Oh, I think I remember it from a long time ago when I was young. I don't know what it's called but it sure is nicer than the place where I just came from. It wasn't bad there, because I wasn't alone, but it was really hard to see where I was going.
But this place is really nice, not as scary. I wonder how long I will be allowed to stay here. I want to tell my friends about it, but I bet they've never even heard of it.
The place I was in before was like a swamp, and there were so many beasts I had to slay it was a lot of work.
Here it's so lovely and quiet, I think I could just lay down and take a nap. But I don't want to rest too long because I want to help my friends find their way here too.
It's a good thing I followed that guy with the sandals on or I never would have made it here in one piece.

if you've never heard of my favorite artist, James Christiansen, I'm introducing you now. Art for the thinkers. Here's a website with his entire catalogue

http://www.greenwichworkshop.com/christensen/

Two Masters

There are times in life that I know what my purpose is, it's clear. Some of those are hard times full of difficulty and tough decisions. Others there is an overwhelming amount of good things and I just don't know what to do with myself. BUT, I am human, and there are times that I get so caught up in ME that I totally loose track of what I was doing. That is such a lost and confusing way to be. There's no end when it comes to trying to make yourself happy. There's always something else you think will satisfy.
This morning I cleaned out my purse getting ready for the trip. You would not believe how my Target receipts came out of that little purse. How embarrassing! First of all the people at Target must think I'm crazy. Second of all... WHY!? Granted some of it was necessities like baby food and diapers. Others, well I don't even know what they were.
So that's an example on a small scale, and that's how it starts. Then it moves to other areas of life and can become really serious, like when you spend LOTS of time contemplating how to make other people like you and that is a very slippery slope.
When we aren't seeking happiness and purpose in God we can get so far away from true happiness soooo quickly. What is true happiness?

Psalm 4:7 You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound.

Psalm 5:11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.

Psalm 6:11 You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

If you don't know what your purpose in life is, there's only one way to find out. When you learn more about God you learn more about why he made you, who you REALLY are.
Just be warned: living life outside of your God given purpose is like trying to draw water from a well with no bottom. Not only will you never gain anything from it, but if you lean in too far while trying you will probably fall in, and there's no bottom to stop your fall.
So, even though I'm not going to be home this week my goal is to let go of all those distractions that have been holding me back and taking away my strength and determination. Regroup, refocus, and renew. I know where my joy is, it's time to get back on track.

An apple a day...

So Lulu just had her 9 month check up this past week. My little lady only weighs 17 lbs! I know that's the 35 percentile, not bad. She's just so much smaller than the boys were at that age. Other than that she's great! She's still cutting several teeth, all you Twilight lovers should know that I jokingly call her "my little immortal child". All those pretty teeth and hair on such a tiny thing.
Anyway, so I had a check up too, and I was wondering if anyone has any info for me. Apparently my scar from the c-section is turning into a bit of a keloid, from what my doc said there's nothing I can do about it. Unfortunately it hurts and pretty much looks "unhealed" most of the time. I think my bathing suit is going to cover it up, but still... lame. I was told that I could get some type of steroid injections to help it go away, is this true? Is it costly? Would it take away the pain associated?
So I haven't been very good at blogging lately. I'm just having trouble with putting thoughts into words that make sense. I could write a whole blog of unintelligible ramblings, but I think only a select few would appreciate the inside workings of my brain.

3 DAYS UNTIL VACATION!!!!

Sasson (the jeans rant)

I'm sure there is some wonderful lady out there who doesn't mind, or maybe even enjoys jean shopping. Not me. Even planning to go shopping for a new pair of jeans kinda makes me feel like I am hyper-ventilating and ready to chew all my nails off. Hmm, what size will I be this time...? UGH!! I think we should all consider going back to corsets and full length gowns. Then the kicker is that I have to pay money, usually more than I want to spend, for these stitches of self-loathing. Usually you have to pay extra for the kind that doesn't emphasize the muffin-top, or make your rear look like it's actually connected to the rest of your body.
Who came up with this stuff? Why do we wear these? I mean, it's fine for men, because we aren't visual creatures and we focus on the heart of the man in the pants and not the rear view of the man in the pants. For us, though, it's a whole different enchilada. We work out, we diet, we try all kinds of gizmos and throw away tons of money; not to look good naked... TO LOOK GOOD IN THOSE STUPID JEANS!!!
Recently my main problem with jeans is getting them to stay up. Don't misunderstand, I don't mean like I'm so little and cute size 0 is just too big. No no no, I mean they just don't, none of them. They search for the narrowest place to rest, so they slide on down to that area between the gut and the butt. Not a good place. They should not call this "The Artist" style, or "The boyfriend", no it should be "The Dough ball", or "The Spare". It just accentuates that jelly role!
I'm so glad my husband loves me the way I am.
So there you have it ladies....

Once upon a time there was a beautiful little princess. She was playful and happy, and was loved and treasured by all the kingdom. She was priceless. There was an evil and dark wizard who lived in the kingdom who wanted the princess for himself. He new that she would grow into a great beauty, so he plotted to one day make her his bride. He also knew that she would never willingly marry him if she knew her own value and beauty. So he cursed her and took away her reflection. When the princess went to look at herself in the mirror she could see nothing, just everything around her.
The princess continued to grow more beautiful through the years. She began asking those around her "what do I look like?" because like any young girl she wanted to know. When she asked her mother and father they would always reply "you are so beautiful! You are the most lovely girl we have ever seen!" However, she knew that even if she were terribly ugly they would never tell her because they loved her so. So she began asking her friends, "what do I look like?" But they were proud and full of envy and always replied, "you look like the rest of us."
The girl continued to grow in age and beauty, and when she was grown she no longer asked people what she looked like, but deep inside she longed to know. She needed to know.
Then one day the wizard came to the castle and told the princess how he loved her and longed to marry her. He hoped that because she didn't know how lovely she was that she would say yes in fear of never finding another to marry her. The princess did not know that the wizard had long been the captor of her reflection and had prevented her from knowing herself. She consented to the marriage on the condition that she have five days to seek out her reflection in the land. The wizard, believing that she would never be able to find the reflection, grinned his evil grin and agreed to let her go and return to marry him in five days time.
The princess set out on horse to visit every nook and cranny in the kingdom. She looked down every well, and into every shop window. It was no where to be found. So on the fifth day she set out to return to the castle where the evil wizard was waiting. Just before the castle, the princess stopped to spend some time alone in a quiet meadow. She sat in the meadow, watching the flowers sway in the breeze. As she sat, a shepherd came over the hill guiding a flock of white sheep. She had heard of this shepherd before. All the people of the town spoke of him as honest and kind. She wanted to know what his face was like, because she had heard his name many times before. She walked to him and when she drew near she noticed that he had very large, dark, lovely eyes. She drew closer still to look at his eyes, and when she was so close that she could touch him she noticed the most amazing thing. When she looked into his eyes she could see... herself. She could see her own eyes, her face, her hair.... And she could see that she was smiling. When she realized that he was staring back at her she was embarrassed and looked away. The shepherd said" no, don't look away, I have long waited to show you who you are. A wizard came to me when I was a young boy and hid something of yours in my eyes. He told me you would never look at me because your beauty would never allow you to set eyes on someone so meager and lowly. But I believed in your kindness and good heart and knew that someday you would look into my eyes and find yourself."
The princess was stunned, and the moment she learned the truth her reflection was set free, and through the eyes of the shepherd she finally knew herself.

The end

Semi-Homade Soups

I am often experimenting with "what I already have on hand" style cooking. It has been really chilly in my house the past several mornings which has started some new experimenting with soups. Sure, I could just buy it ready made in the can, but I want to make things a little hardier and tastier (and use things I usually have around.
So here are the results so far
Yesterday: pea soup
- 1 can peas
- 2tbs butter
- 1 tbs flour mixed with 1/2 cup milk BEFORE added to melted butter and peas
-plenty of black pepper
- a dash of salt

I hope most of this is at least semi self explanitory. I do mash to peas a little with the back of a spoon, but that's because I like it mushy.

Today: Heart creamy tomato
-1can diced tomatoes
-1/2 a can tomato paste
-1 can cream celery soup
-1/4 cup milk
-pepper, onion power, beef bouillon to taste

Simmer LOW for as long as you can with out over cooking, this could probaby go in a crock pot with some other veggies added to make a veggie soup.


Tomorrow I'm planning on something potato :)

Perfect Faithfulness

I am writing to you, my friends, as this story is unfolding. This is really amazing and I want to share what God is doing in the past 48 hours in my life.

You all know how badly I have been wanting to return to school so that I can attend bible seminary and learn to serve the Lord on a new level. This idea has been burning in my heart for months. By the time summer was in full swing and colleges were putting out their fall enrollment schedules it was clear that there was no way we were going to be able to afford for me to return to school. As a matter of fact we have often wondered how we are going to stay afloat financially much longer! It has been starting to get a little scary. At the same time I have felt a strong feeling from the Holy Spirit urging me to stay calm and wait because something is "about to happen". I constantly had this feeling like: "any minute... here it comes... any minute." But what could that solution be? There was NOTHING in my mind that could prove to change our situation anytime soon. Everything is LEAN.

Then things started to happen. I'm not going to talk about all of them, because that would just be boring for you. God started to present us with all these blessings. If you know me at all I have been walking through the valley with my Shepherd for soooo long that I get a little nervous when certain types of blessing present themselves. So things that would seem really small to someone else are HUGE to me. Here is just one example: I had the privilege of receiving a BEAUTIFUL dish set that has been in my family for eons. It meant so much to me to bring this dish set in my home yesterday. I suddenly felt like I had acquired an enormous wealth.

So, anyway, these types of blessings were "falling out of the sky" all day yesterday. I was giddy. Then, here's the kicker. When Bryan was at work someone informed him that the G.I. bill has been changed so that it is now transferable to spouses!! What?!!! And you think that's crazy, apparently all the benefits of the G.I bill are transferable from someone who is no longer active duty including HOUSING ALLOWANCE while the person is attending school full time. If anyone knows about any of this and can inform me whether I am correct with this information or not please let me know.
So, I'm going to go back to my room and lay on my face a little longer because I just can't take it. God is too good for me. I'm waiting to know if this is going to be real.

"Oh Lord, Thou are my God: I will exalt thee, I will give thanks to thy name; For thou hast worked wonders, Plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness." Isaiah 25:1

Mythical boyfriend

Ok, so he's not my boyfriend, he's really my husband. And he's not mythical either, it's just that he's gone a lot. I really wish I had a dollar for everytime someone has said, "I don't think I've ever seen your husband", or "I wouldn't know him if I saw him."
So today I am devoting a whole blog to him so that you can all meet him. He's usually the one taking the pictures, so I had to scour our files to find some pictures of him to share.
He's a cool guy.
1. the guy in the black shirt with the big wad in his mouth
2. this is an older pic
3. yankees game
4 with senator Patty Murray
5. rinding the bull on wallstreet

Just call me "Ricki Lake"

Just so you know from the beginning, this blog is basically a rant/vent. That means it is going to be full of whining and complaining about something NOT LIFE THREATENING, and I realize that.
So, after about a week of not watching what I ate, at least not really, and eating way too late EVERY night; I have gained 9 lbs. That's right, 9. Granted, it's the end of the day, not the best time to weigh in. But two weeks ago at this time of night I would have weighed 9 pounds less!!!!! I am so angry. I am so mad at myself. I noticed I wasn't looking quite as trim around the middle, but whoa. All the hard work... now I have to re-loose those 9 pounds.
IDIOT!!! UGH!!!
So, as of tonight, my goal for this week is to try to get a little closer to where I was. Logic tells me that it's not all fat... yet, because it hasn't been there long enough. (and I ate at least a pound of spinach dip just today) So just maybe most of it can go away before Bry comes home.
Step 1) Loose the blubber I gained back
Step 2) Maybe scrape off 5 more beyond that.
Goodbye tasty food... (tear)
The perils of being a woman.

UPDATE: I ate a whole bunch of peanutbutter cup cookies today.

Funnies
(courtey of www.theonion.com)

Just wanted to get your laugh boxes going...





White House Reveals Obama Is Bipolar, Has Entered Depressive Phase

Today I was planning on posting some interresting pictures from over the past few months that were taken from my phone. I have sent them to my inbox twice and still they keep getting lost somewhere out in cyberspace. So, hopefully they turn up eventually and I can post them. Until then, I ain't got nothin. So maybe another post later...

Anecdotes to lighten the Friday afternoon load.



Lucy Sprouts Tooth

At seven months old, little Lucy Clover is growing what appear to be some form of gopher teeth from her upper gum. Her mother didn't know that Lucy was hiding the teeth until she heard a noise that sounded like grinding coming from the child's mouth. Details and photos to come as the situation develops.


Old Dog, New Tricks

Twenty-six year old house keeper, Mandi Lou, was recently reported to have "mopped the kitchen floor". Many thought it would never be done, but Miss Lou is not one to stand in the way of progress. When questioned Miss Lou replied, "It really wasn't dirty, it was just sticky from all this darn humidity".
Well, we don't care what was causing it Miss Lou, we're just glad that the situation has been rectified. More next week on the breakfast cereal removed from under the couch that strongly resembled rodent feces.


Fall Fashion Trends

Looking to spruce up your fall wardrobe this month? Here are the latest fashion reports from the Martin Household, the height of fashion this year.
First we have Aiden, an alternative designer who is mixing comfort and creative. His latest design for the fall consists of high water jammy bottoms and a traditional t-shirt with a trendy pair of "toes hang over the edge"-style sandals.
Next up we have the lovely Mandi whose new logo for fall is "dress three sizes to big"! She prefers jeans with holes ALL over them that are so big on her she doesn't have to unzip them to use the restroom and show her old lady underwear every time she sits down. Paired with a perhaps too youthful looking t-shirt. Anyone familiar with Mandi's fashion design knows that everything goes with flip-flops!
Last but certainly not least we have Bryanwear. When going for this look never wear pants that don't have holes and grease all over them. The knew look this fall is also letting your toddler color all over your pants with marker and still wearing them out of the house. To complete this look top it off one of your 200 t-shirts you've had since 1995.
Enjoy your fall and back to school shopping, and don't forget... you are what you wear!

Blurg-blog

Here it is, time again for a post full of honesty and real life issues. I confess I haven't been up to my usual par for blogging, my mind has been further occupied. There is a situation that has been underlying and growing for months and it is finally coming to the point where I am having trouble seeing around it in order to perform everyday tasks. It is a money issue, and an issue with Bryan's job. I don't want to be to specific because I don't want to turn to complaining, and I don't want to over step my bounds as far as sharing private information is concerned.
So here's what it comes to... the outcome of this situation affects so many aspects of my life that I have run out of ways to plan around it. My home, my family's well being, my ability to minister to others the way God is directing me, and so much more.
When it comes to these type of material dilemmas I get so frustrated. What is it I expect? Perfect comfort on an imperfect earth? No, but what about my children? Should they have to suffer? Is this really just an issue that my worrying and fretting has blown out of proportion, or is there really some loss heading my way.
Yes, God does provide peace and comfort in all situations; through his word and the daily commune and renewal with the Holy Spirit.
The trouble is I'm a thinker. A person of process and method. "What does this mean?" "what am I supposed to do?" When I believe so strongly that there is a purpose to everything, not on the condition of my understanding, I can't avoid the thought that this too has purpose. So I rethink it over and over, wondering what I should be doing differently and hoping God will soon break His silence on the subject.

the word on the street

Less than a month until school starts!! So today I am going to give a little list of family updates.

1. Bryan and I were SUPPOSED to leave yesterday for our vacation in new York. However, due mostly to issues and schedules at work we have to cancel our trip. Instead we are planning on going to California for a few days in the first weekend of October. I must admit, I would rather go to California than New York. It's going to be more relaxing, and probably more romantic.

2. Aiden has finally learned to ride his bike with out training wheels. That's actually very big new. With all his motor skill issues we really didn't expect him to be able to do this yet. He worked so hard at it. Now he's very proud of himself, and we are too.

3. My mom and dad have moved. They are still staying at there Lake Tapps house during the week until it sells, but they have bought a place on Whidby Island. I am trying to adjust to not seeing them as often. The first time it really hit me was Sunday. Bryan had to work, and normally I would call my parents and they could meet me at church to help me get the kids to class. Now I'm on my own! So I do miss them.

4. My brother is going to be moving over to Central Washington University in just a few weeks. That is going to be another big adjustment for my family on top of my parents moving. I'm so excited for him though!

5. I reached the 30 lb mark. That's right, I have lost 30 lbs. I have a few more pounds to go before my end goal (based on my BMI). But here is a word of truth for everyone out there... it hasn't changed anything. I feel the same. I don't even view myself differently. If anything, I miss brownies more than I enjoy being a size 6. So for anyone out there who looks in the mirror and thinks "...if only I were twenty pounds smaller...", just know that it won't make you feel better. You truly do have to choose to be happy with yourself in any state and not make it contingent upon physical appearance or any one aspect of yourself.

Ta-da!

Gone

This morning the song "Gone" by Switchfoot is on a continual rotation in my brain. It makes sense, though, because this morning I cleaned out Lucy's closet. Goodbye baby swing, goodbye bouncy seat, goodbye newborn swaddling blankets. "Today will soon be gone, like yesterday is gone."
I am glad to pass these items on to another family, but it feels like just yesterday I was preparing for the arrival of little Jack, and now it's been almost three years! And Lucy, just when I thought I was going back into the never ending pregnancy and newborn days, here I am getting rid of all the precious things I gathered to prepare for her arrival. The baby days will soon be gone. It's hard, after being in pregnancy/newborn mode for the past seven years, to know how to move on from all that. No pregnancy tests, no nursing in the middle of the night, no pouring over "What to Expect When You're Expecting" for the hundredth time.
Yes, we are truly finished, no I really don't want another baby. I just wish those days with my babies hadn't flown by in such a flash (although it seemed like an eternity at the time).
Now to embrace my freedom. I don't have to stay away from fancy cheese and wine, I don't need pants with a stretchy waistband, or worry about pregnancy weight ever again. My body is no longer shared.
...beautiful memories of birth....

A striking resemblance

It's still summer

It's happened... every summer there comes a day when I walk outside and the air is different. I can feel it. There are six weeks left until fall. It doesn't matter that it is still roasting outside, I can tell things are changing.
So now, for no reason I feel all googly and romantic. I stood there, smelling the Macintosh Yankee candles for a good five minutes while at Ben Franklins. I love fall. It really brings out the best in me. So, even though I think we still have some summer left in the year, I know that it's coming. So for all you fall fans mark it on your calendar. I've been right to the week for several years in a row. Six weeks from now the leaves will be falling and there will be no doubt that the summer is leaving.
So, as a tribute to my favorite time of year I am making a list of my top 10 favorite fall things:

10) It's the Great Pumpkin! Halloween, I love to see how much fun my kids have. They are so cute all dressed up.




9) Fresh, hot, apple cider. Especially when sharing some with friends. Either inside by the fire, or outside on a hayride.

8) The colors. In Buffalo the falls were especially beautiful, but there is no shortage of beauty here in the Cascades either! When the leaves turn and fall it gives me this peaceful feeling, and reminds me of our mortality. How short our time is, how beautiful.

7) The smells. Pies. Apples. The crisp air. Breath it in, aahhhh.

6)"Back to school, back to school, to show my dad I'm not fool." Aiden needs more social interaction than I am able to give him. He thrives on being in a stimulating environment. I try to give him that at home, but really we're pretty boring. Not to mention I don't mind a little extra peace and quiet.

5)Thanksgiving. God made us for HIS glory, it's so nice to celebrate everything He has given us. especially when it involves good food.

4)Jackets and scarves. I'm not much for warm weather. I prefer drizzle and chill any day. I like my sweaters, hoodies, and jackets.

3) Pies. I mentioned the way they smell, but how about the way they taste, and most of all the wonderful feeling you get from making them. There are pies in the summer, particularly the berry variety. But I'm talking about PUMPKIN and APPLE! When I am baking mode I think my family loves me a little more than usual.

2)Going to the pumpkin patch! We love Spooner farms. This year I hope to do more than last year, as I was pregnant and not in the mood for tractor rides or haunted corn mazes. I love pushing the wheel barrow around, my kids trying to pick up pumpkins that are bigger than they are, and the feeling of family it all gives me. Those memories are lasting.




1) It's the beginning of the holiday season! It all starts with the pumpkin spice latte and before ya know it it's time for a good 'ol peppermint mocha! I don't know how else to explain this, unless you LOVE Christmas like I do. It is the festivities that preclude the most "magical" time of year. It's a feeling that keeps me young.

There, have I romanticized it enough for you?